TL;CR MEME

[cluedin]

TL;CR MEME

1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Suffer as we have suffered over your CR.

Comments

it was 2am when i started this and this will probably make no sense to either of us in the morning

[recrypt]

i made a mistake letting my paid run out and now i don't have any appropriate icons for this tl;cr. like with brilith/ray's i'm also going to have to preface this with an apology for how 45 is and her canon point because blah blah as far as she knows she should be formless data without a body outside of her self-perception of one. which means that one, early on, she would have been more concerned about business and 'wtf is this' and figuring out what's going on, and then two, later on, more concerned about not giving people a reason to miss her esp since people were talking about keeping in touch and she was just 'hm, not sure if i'm going to wake up, actually.'

anyway! they met early on in w0, back when she was still doing the 'i'm a harmless and completely normal t-doll made for humanity's sake and i definitely don't have opinions on the structure of things' bit. it was pretty obvious early on that most people in the mansion weren't familiar with a-doll technology, so she could have just pretended to be a human, sure- but that wouldn't really have had much of a point outside of possibly blowing up in her face later if she got outed for some reason, since there's enough off about her for it to be noticeable at a closer glance.

so she'd never bring it up herself unprompted, but give anyone who asked the basic rundown. she figured once they got it, they'd lose interest, just take it at face value, or drop the subject since from her point of view, it's hardly that interesting. once you learn that someone is a thing that is meant to do something, that's all there is to it, right? you let them do their something and otherwise disregard them, because that's what they're for. she was not quite as ready for someone to not only just keep on asking questions, but also become more obviously uncomfortable as they started digging deeper into the whole 't-dolls were made for the protection of humanity' thing. she's lived in the seedy underbelly of city life for a while before- she's seen the doll (part) black markets and trafficking rings. programmed personality or not, it doesn't mean much when they can be freely reformatted or just deleted entirely so they can be taken apart and sold for cash. it really reinforces the knowledge that they're just machines to many humans?

so the non-answers she started giving him as soon as he started asking more personal questions sure were a thing, haha. no one gets personal sentiment out of her, generally- not even her teammates. the fact that the questions weren't all just "wow, cool robot!" is the start of where this cr actually began though, probably, because while she would have answered those questions more easily she also would have much more easily written him off later on. early on in w0/1 or so, she kept throwing out random dehumanizing factoids- "my emotions are simulated, there's no need to be concerned," "i'm a machine, remember?"- sort of as, bait/deterrent, i suppose, to see how much he actually wanted to invest himself in this or not. and... he never actually dismissed it or said it didn't matter, just took it in and offered better than average reasoning for why it's not that big a deal or why it isn't completely different. still a little wrong, of course, but he thought about it, which means he's paying attention?

(sorry, certain people. insisting she's a person is cute and all but like, please state your argument and thesis clearly. why is she a person. believing it super hard doesn't make it real.)

so she took to watching how he interacted with other people at trial when she wasn't being brainfog the airhead roomba. conclusion: it's not just surface pleasantries like most of hers have (ostensibly) been so far, he really is just like this. i think the tag/thread where she mentioned that the bare minimum to pretend to be him would to at least fake caring is probably one of the first where the 45 underneath the surface level masks started to leak through, where she's a little sharper but also a little more genuine.

which is great because next week was zombie week. first off: pay more attention to yourself in the morgue, you fool, stop worrying about her. people just don't worry about 45 as a general, not necessarily in a malicious way but just because they generally kind of just. figure she's got things well in hand. so the fact that he kept leaving akechi on read for her was just a moment of hm. it's not that she wasn't expecting him to care, more that it was so uh, blatantly biased in her favor when objectively akechi probably might have needed that concern a bit more? combat robot and all. anyway so that throws her a little, because that's sweet, but also, hunter, no.

she also would have used the syringe on him anyway even if brilith hadn't been a glass cage of emotions at her all week- probably. no one will ever get the truth from her on whether it was simply because she was going to use it to save a monster anyway, and it just so happened that it was hunter that week and a lot of people would have been very sad if he died, or if she did it specifically because it was hunter, who she liked as much as she would let herself like anyone in the house at the time. (they didn't know about the survival requirements for endgame yet. she's mentioned in at least a few pcs she's surprised no one came to her saying that she should have saved it instead, maybe they could have replicated it or something. do the math.)

god, i'm at 1k words and we're not even in actual ship territory yet. for the record, she yeeted herself away from w2 execution as fast as possible because she felt it wasn't her place to stay. she got her job done, let the humans do the whole relief and catchup and oh my god i'm so glad you're alive thing. plus she's terminally terrible at accepting thanks and she didn't want to be there for if anyone started thinking she did anything noble or nice or anything. so when he went looking for her later... there's a lot of reasons, pragmatic and sentimental both, that someone in her position would have used the antidote to save him, so it's not like she needed thanks? she wasn't really prepared for him asking how he could make it up to her at all, even if on some level she was expecting it.

which is why she makes what in her opinion is a selfish request, almost but not quite on a whim. plus she was concerned about where his head might have been after, well, anyway, and figured that focusing on someone else might help him a little even if it's a bit emotionally manipulative- but that was more something for the rest of the conversation, because the initial request itself was really something more personal. if he really wanted to make it up to her, then remember her. that's all. it might not seem like much to him, but to her, who knows that her thoughts and memories really are the only things that make her her, who has existed as a ghost for this long by erasing the memories other dolls have of her and records of herself wherever she went for this long, it meant a lot. and i uh, wasn't expecting the thing it was a callback to to be outed literally in the next few days, so congrats on picking up on it when it happened, eli. :pensive: also i don't know if i told you but the continued fistbumps were killing me because you know why. same with him worrying so much about her as a person, which is very funny to me personally because she's often accused of caring about herself too much in canon up until uhhhhh things happen.

(there's a few people who got memories bracketing the one she gave him, or even split parts of the set, but he's the only one who followed up to the degree he did. she's a little sorry she couldn't better shift the focus of the conversation, or at least tone down the ragged edges some, but unfortunately butterfly incident memories tend to leave her in a bad mood.)

by the way, when he asked her out, she was fully aware of it the first time. just, uh, plausible deniability in case he changed his mind and backed out in the time it would take for him to ask again. just another chance she gave him to back out, since by this point she was shifting herself towards trying to not be missed... but she wouldn't have actually pushed anyone away, since that usually tends to accomplish the opposite of what you want. she respected him enough to, well, not quite go full disclosure, but at give him a warning rather than be evasive! so!!! if both of them were aware of the circumstances ... then sure, why not spend this time they have however they want? she gets the feeling, a little, that he was going a bit out of his way for her and to try to reaffirm that she's a person, which isn't helped by the fact she didn't do a lot of initiating the entire time, but ... she was happy, and she hopes it helped him too. because as it turns out, his sappy gushing about her to other people never got back to her, haha. she doesn't have a lot of faith in her ability to positively affect people in this particular way, and is used to being considered cold or distant by anyone who doesn't fall for her smiley act, but he seemed happy enough? and for that she was glad.

and on some level it was nice to unwind and let go of some of the responsibilities she's used to juggling, if only for their time here. as endgame got closer though, the looming limit on their time together approached ... she didn't want to hurt him, and she doesn't think he forgot about it, but when he asked about what her plans were for after the mansion, she could very well have lied. instead she broke her situation to him as gently as she could, just in case some miracle endgame worldhoppy communications thing happened and he expected to be able to talk to her or something only for her to leave him on read because uh, stuck in roomba sleep. coma.

so obviously releasing him from the obligation of having to remember her is the kindest thing she can do, right. he can move on, be happy, forget the doll he spent a long murder mansion dream with, there's not a ton in her cloud she can really offer him as far as normal, good experiences go because as they've both noted their situations kind of suck ... but a dance together was one thing she could give him after he'd gone out of his way to try to give her so much.

anyway now with the portals and necklaces hahaha good luck to anyone trying to get that necklace away from her, i said her kin was a corvid in w5 and she hoards the few things she has tight.

so! in essence. as it turns out, hunter started out on the right foot with her, laid the correct groundwork re: taking roombas into consideration, and then continued selecting the correct dialogue options all the way down. it's disgusting how fond of him she was, really, i don't know how this happened but here we are. reading i robot clearly prepared him well for this cr. i think the real takeaway from all this is to not write tl;crs in the middle of the night because you end up rambling way too long and probably missing things anyway i probably forgot to mention like 36547890 things but good night i'm going to sleep and when i wake up i'll probably remember something i should've included like oh my god lmao the conditional okay yeah i'm not talking about that right now GOOD NIGHT