GRAVEYARD

[cluedin]

THE GRAVEYARD

No two deaths are ever quite the same. Some might remember the exact moment their lives were cut short; others might only see a blinding flash of light; the particularly unlucky ones might not recall any details whatsoever.

No matter how it ended up happening, though, all of you here will always have one thing in common: one second you're dead; the next, you wake up to find yourself in a dark room. Before you can even start to try and get your bearings, a shadowy figure appears in the doorway of your room, face lit from the bottom up by a faint, almost ethereal glow. It stands still for a few seconds before murmuring,

"Oooooh... I see dead people."

... The voice is followed by a snicker as a gloved hand flicks the light switch on, revealing the mysterious entity to be Pumpkin, the fox-eared groundskeeper. Lowering the game console that had illuminated her face, she continues, "That one never gets old. Anyway, hey, sup, you're dead, that sucks, the house is probably gonna eat you as soon as this round is over. Wanna see what everyone else is up to on the other side?"

As you take in everything the gardener has told you, you suddenly realize as you look around... though you don't see anything, why does it feel like this place is already crowded?

---

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Comments

[getdrekt]

[kill him again

send him to hell 2]

You really thought she was telling the truth. [it's flat. impressed. staring directly into the marianas trench of idiocy is incredible.] Did you lose your brain when you died, or were you always this simple?

[mammoney]

[THERE IS NO HELL 2]

I should be askin' you that! I can think just fine! You don't even know what memes are, you can't say anythin' to me, dimwit!

[getdrekt]

Your idiot "memes" are the least important thing in my life!

Do you understand the difference between the first and second fonons, or how fonons of the same frequency interact?!

[mammoney]

...

Memes have way more power than your fonon nerd stuff. Trust me.

[getdrekt]

Tell me, how do you calculate the circumference of a circle? Can your memes help you there?

[mammoney]

Why would I need to know that boring stuff? I mean, does knowin' the circumference of a circle help you here? I don't think so! Knowing emojis and memes lets you get ahead, nerd!

[getdrekt]

[Flatly:] You died to an undead teenager.

A shame no emojis or memes managed to save you.

[mammoney]

Math didn't save you from gettin' your arm eaten and saved from all of us thinkin' you turned into a giant water snake, idiot. What were you gonna do, lecture the snake some calculus for an hour?

[getdrekt]

Do you call your woman a snake in bed, too, or is that just for when you think she isn't listening?

[mammoney]

It's what she turned into! I'm not callin' her a snake! Your MOM's a snake!

[getdrekt]

[he's just

staring.

there's a long pause.

finally:] What a spectacularly stupid thing to say.

Of course she isn't.