![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
GRAVEYARD
THE GRAVEYARD
No two deaths are ever quite the same. Some might remember the exact moment their lives were cut short; others might only see a blinding flash of light; the particularly unlucky ones might not recall any details whatsoever.
No matter how it ended up happening, though, all of you here will always have one thing in common: one second you're dead; the next, you wake up to find yourself in a dark room. Before you can even start to try and get your bearings, a shadowy figure appears in the doorway of your room, face lit from the bottom up by a faint, almost ethereal glow. It stands still for a few seconds before murmuring,
"Oooooh... I see dead people."
... The voice is followed by a snicker as a gloved hand flicks the light switch on, revealing the mysterious entity to be Pumpkin, the fox-eared groundskeeper. Lowering the game console that had illuminated her face, she continues, "That one never gets old. Anyway, hey, sup, you're dead, that sucks, the house is probably gonna eat you as soon as this round is over. Wanna see what everyone else is up to on the other side?"
As you take in everything the gardener has told you, you suddenly realize as you look around... though you don't see anything, why does it feel like this place is already crowded?
locations 🐾 ic profiles 🐾 murder proposals 🐾 audience requests 🐾 statuses 🐾 private conversations
no subject
[And he nods in turn at each name.]
They're all fine. [well actually they were pretty fucked up and now they probably call toi "the wild one-eyed weedbandit" or something like that but that's hardly here nor there at the moment?? and they're fine now???]
They carried your body out. You were never alone.
no subject
surprises keep coming
mostly because she - ]
... did not leave me? Why....
[ - 100% expected all of those boys to just let her die and then abandon her body, because they sure were in a bad situation and she would not have held it against any of them]
no subject
Tch. If they'd left you behind, it only would have served to prove how pathetic they are. Without you, they all would have died. Honoring your memory was the absolute least they could do.
Don't debase yourself like that.
no subject
They are not pathetic.
[because at the end of the day, anya will always be defensive over her friends way more than she's defensive over herself. it's weak, at least, like she knows that wasn't asch's point]
... I am not saying something about myself. Война. We were in war. I got hurt, they should keep going.
It... is smart thing to do, if someone is not helpful.
[even though she probably would never leave someone behind either - she can say it because she wasn't in that situation!]
no subject
--but in this specific situation right here right now to do with Anya, she is wrong and it is wrong and stupid and he would never do that ever ever and anyone who would is! an!! idiot!!!!!!!
he grits his teeth, gripping her wrists slightly tighter in response.]
No, you idiot! Do you think anyone would have been happy with that outcome? You're no soldier!
What kind of honorable man leaves a girl to die on the battlefield after she gives his life for him?!
no subject
Toi, not soldier. Jin Ling, not soldier. [she actually doesn't know about nie she's not going to say anything about him] Did not even like me... so -
They need to be okay without me. Everyone needs to be okay without me.
[it's okay to leave dead weight behind, as long as that dead weight is just anya]
no subject
Would you have left any of them behind? I have little doubt in my mind your bleeding heart would have allowed you to continue! You would have hesitated, even in a firefight, and begged for the others to help you carry whoever fell! [he recites this out loud with 100% certainty, never breaking eye contact with her. Anya is definitely a Natalia type when it comes down to it.]
So shut up, cut your self-sacrificial garbage out, and accept that you're worth people's effort and time!
no subject
trying to protect others is why she was even close enough to the fight to get hurt, after all.
but hearing this from asch is - ]
You first.
[she won't disagree with him, because he's telling the truth, and he's right.
but.]
If you want Anya to stop, you have to, too. Недостойный. No more 'it is fine if it is me who is hurt'. You cannot tell me I am wrong, but keep doing same thing.
no subject
Wh--?
[but the reeling is only momentary. he's already regrouping, stuffing whatever surprise, shame, or wonder he might have expressed down deep, away, hidden. he straightens his back—and shakes his head.
but doesn't quite meet her eyes.]
No. It's-- we're different.
[...]
We've lived different lives. You can't compare yourself to me. You're...
[what?
what is she?
everything he tries to complete the sentence with drifts by, nixed, cancelled, rejected. too much. too little. too cruel. too fake.
instead, he just lamely mutters:]
...younger.
no subject
but the thing is that with his grip on her wrists loosening, she's just going to gently twist her hands away from him so that he's not holding onto her - but she seizes his hands in the next second anyway, intent on not letting him run away. she has all her fingers back and by god she's going to use them.]
Нет. No. Bad answer.
[FIRMLY]
I will not listen until you do.
Maybe... we are different in ways. I do not know your life, you do not know mine. But... Никто. No one should be left behind, or sacrificed. Not me, not you.
Say so - and Anya will stop fighting
[but not a second sooner]
no subject
[he should have been more careful.
squirming in her grip, Asch tries to wrench his hands away, with middling success. he doesn't want to actually hurt her.]
I've-- I died alone, by choice. All of it, that was my own choice! That's the only thing in my life I've ever been allowed to choose!
Let go of me!
[he pulls harder, frowning at Anya, trying to use the close contact of their hands to slip away]
no subject
Почему...! Why? Did not want to live? Did not want to stay? People have more to say to you - Beau, Luna, Lio.
[she's sure there were circumstances - things she doesn't get, but the idea of choosing to die.... she hates it. considering how much she hates being dead now, and being away from all the people she wanted to be with - how could anyone ever be okay with that?]
I did not decide anything myself too - but where I want to be, and who I want to stand with.
You can make choice now... You do not have to go, or be alone, or give up.
no subject
[she didn't say anything about that??????
but even angery, he's reluctant to pull himself out of her grip, instead just clenching his hands into fists.
time to throw logic to the wind and just yell a bunch of emotional bullshit!]
I died on Auldrant, and that was supposed to be that! Then suddenly, I'm awake, alive, in a room full of idiots I've never seen before, and every one of them is trying to convince me that this is a wonderful opportunity! For what? To die again, at the whims of the manor's braindead lord, for entertainment and blood sport? Even if we managed to get out of here, I'm already dead—everywhere! What second chance is it, then? None! I'm glad I was able to die at my own request in the vote instead of at midnight to a stupid monster!
I made my choice! Now let--me--go!
no subject
but the thing about that is that she's more than willing to take this - take people being emotional at her, yelling at her, because at least they're using their words with her and speaking from the heart. finally her grip relaxes on asch a little bit with at least one hand - but only so that she can let her fingertips brush the back of his balled fist, trying to get his palm to open]
.... I do not want to.
[she'll be soft even when he's yelling, her own voice measured in response as she doesn't bother to raise her voice again. no need to disturb everyone else further]
I cannot make you want to live again - or think that this is a good place. Жестокий. It is not.
But I do not want you to be angry, or feel alone, like you do not matter and can be forgotten. It is not true. If I matter, you matter.
That is all.
no subject
the first is that Asch senses Anya's hold relax, and tenses to move—but Anya does first.
the second is that Asch feels Anya's fingers—gentle, feminine, small—brushing against his hand in a way that could really only be described as... well, soothing. close. comfortable.
the third is Asch hears Anya's voice—soft, kind, caring—and an electric shock of a realisation, containing and delivering one of the key tenants of being a growing teenaged boy, sizzles through his body like a grounded lightning bolt:
girl cute.
the reaction is immediate, and ridiculous.
both fight and flight responses kick in at the same time, and he nearly stumbles. he reaches out to steady himself--grabs Anya's hand--lets go of Anya's hand in the same way one lets go of a hot potato--and tries to crabwalk away from her, one hand still being held, like a dancer mid-step.]
Uh--
[If I matter, you matter.]
I... I don't--
[but then she was going to say she didn't.
...
his shoulders, arms, hands, drop—and he lets out a disgruntled, truly stymied exhale of frustration.]
You... whatever.
[he gestures flippantly with his free hand, frowning.
is he blushing??]
Do whatever you want.
Just let go of my hand.
no subject
so much happened in that moment and it bewilders her - though when he almost falls, she immediately reaches out to hold onto him, to try to steady him with all of her small idol self. then comes the stumbling and she watches him expectantly, listening, waiting
and then
she fucking wins
it's literally just an immediate victory that manages to, against all odds, get her to beam as she does the absolute opposite of what he asks and instead takes his hand in both of hers, holding onto it in the softest, sweetest grip as she starts to slowly piece together her new strategy for handling asch]
Do not run, then will let go.
Оставаться. I would like you to stay with me - if that is okay.... That is what I want.
no subject
H-Hey! I told you to--!
[He scowls at her words, and makes another "I don't care about this" gesture with his off hand.
he's still not making eye contact.]
Tch.
Fine.
Let go, and I'll stay here.
[like minimum a meter away, but here..........]
no subject
the fluster manages to get her to smile just a little wider - but then she'll release his hands once he agrees, though not without a gentle squeeze first, as if to anchor the words in a gesture.
once her hands are her own, she gives him a pleased little smile, tilting her head]
Спасибо. Thank you.
[ . . . ]
I am happy to see you again - I heard that you were here after they spoke to spirits but... Разные. Different, to see you with own eyes.
[and that's easier to focus on than her own death, now that they're done arguing]
no subject
at the thank-you, he simply nods in reply, jaw set.
but the thing about the spirits finally does get him to look at here properly, momentarily forgetting himself.]
The spirits people keep contacting?
I've never seen them here. From what I understand, they dwell elsewhere.
[where tho..........]
Did you speak with any?
no subject
Пугающий! The board is scary - there are rules. If do not follow, could invite even more demon. Did not want to touch just in case. [HER ROOMMATES LIKE OCCULT SHIT, ANYA KNOWS A WEIRD AMOUNT ABOUT IT]
Mm... but they know you are here - so they know we are...? Would be nice to send message through them...
[since it seems they can speak pretty freely?]
no subject
It's a one-way transceiving device, connected to the same frequency the dead operate on, or something similar. No one who used it was harmed.
[hmmm.]
There's a room where we might be able to—although I doubt they can tell us any more than they could tell the living.
[he seems to mull it over—then stops, glancing back at Anya thoughtfully, as if realizing something—before looking quickly away again, focusing on a Very Interesting Lamp.]
....I should tell you. Things are different, here. [...] On this side, I mean.
no subject
Please do not try to use board on your own, if we get to see it. [she says it in the same way that she seemed upset about ayabe completely fucking failing gun safety. she thinks asch is going to fail Luigi safety] Вместе. I will use with you.
[asch would fuckin forget to say goodbye to the board and unleash even more demons on them
anyway, she tilts her head at the wwwwweirdness]
What is different?
no subject
instead, he just sighs, shrugs, and nods once. she could have it her own stupid way.]
First. This place—it’s smaller than the other house. Only two floors, the basement, and the garden. There’s some oddities, but otherwise, it’s the same. The idiot kraken is still in the lake. [beat] Don’t ask me how.
Second. Us—we seem to stick to the idea of “dead”. We don’t need to eat, sleep, or even rest. We can—but we don’t need to.
Third. Communication—we can, and we can’t. We can affect the other house a little, and send letters—but the letters come out as nonsense, and what we can affect is limited.
[he pauses, suddenly self-aware, and crosses his arms.]
...I think that’s everything.