GUEST SERVICES - AKIRA

[cluedin]

Comments

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[p. . . picks himself up and blinks at her. blearily]

Oh--

[oh]

. . . so that's what those bells do. . .

[p.s. he has returned the coffee maker and has made coffee! it smells nice]

[cluedin]

[ huh. it does look like the coffee maker is there. it's too bad plum isn't the cook to fully appreciate this.

also she absolutely just stared at him when he fell over and did nothing to help ]

Yes, sir. The bells we gave you in our respective colors is to call upon one of us.

[ there's a little bit of a "duh" tone ]

[survivaltricks]

[IT'S FINE HE'LL CALL PEACH LATER SO SHE CAN APPRECIATE IT!!!]

[also thanks Plum you're helpful]

In hindsight, that is obvious.

[a beat]

Would you like some coffee?

[bribing zia npcs with coffee version 2.0]

[cluedin]

[ this is not gonna work twice in a row!! plum raises an eyebrow ]

I don't believe guests are supposed to serve the staff, sir.

[survivaltricks]

[zia is on to me]

So?

[who cares what the guests are supposed to do!!]

I made all this coffee, but I can't taste it. I'd rather someone else drink it since I can't. Besides--

[a beat]

Hooooow long did it take you to clean up the mess around the mansion?

[cluedin]

I hope this isn't a convoluted attempt to poison me, sir.

[ dryly. but you know what else is going to be dry. the look on her face at that question ]

Cleaning up messes is part of my assigned duties. It was no trouble at all.

[ why does that sound fake ]

[survivaltricks]

Do I look like the kind of guy who would poison someone?

[THERE'S NO POISON IN THE COFFEE HE PROMISES!! and he even lifts a mug to his lips to take a (bland) sip to prove it. though he like. . . sighs forlornly as he gets absolutely nothing from the taste. :( :( this sucks]

[and onto other matters--]

I think you're secretly daydreaming about throwing us all in the dumpster, actually.

[into the dumpster for trashing the mansion crimes]

[cluedin]

I would never dare judge or hurt one of Master Blue's esteemed guests, sir.

[ ......... but you know that doesn't necessarily take away the dreaming of it part ]

[survivaltricks]

[a small, amused huff]

Of course not. But that doesn't stop you from daydreaming about it.

[nudges some coffee at her]

[nudge nudge]

[nudge]

[cluedin]

[ she takes the cup and makes no move to drink it ]

I don't believe I have time to spare for daydreaming, sir.

[survivaltricks]

[head tilt]

You don't get breaks?

[THERE ARE LABOR LAWS ABOUT BREAKS]

[cluedin]

[ what the fuck is a labor law ]

I'm afraid I cannot rest when there is work to be done.

[survivaltricks]

[SOMETHING THAT YOU GUYS NEED TO LEARN ABOUT TO GET SICK LEAVE AND MANDATED LUNCH BREAKS???]

But when do you eat?

. . . when do you sleep??

[cluedin]

When I am not answering calls, sir.

[


call out post ]

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[okay yeah fair and legit]

. . . did I wake you up. . .

[cluedin]

[ she just stares quietly





i mean the house did get cleaned magically overnight ]

[survivaltricks]

[F]

[FUCK]

[IT'S HIM. HE'S THE CRIMINAL. HE'S THE PROBLEM HERE]

I--

[. . .]

You can nap while pretending to help me if you want to so no one else can accidentally call you like I did.

[cluedin]

[ she stares some more. ]

If someone calls for me, I have to answer, sir. That is what the bells are for.

[survivaltricks]

[STOP JUDGING HIM HE IS TRYING TO HELP!!!!]

. . .

So if someone rang your bell in the middle of this conversation, you'd just up and vanish?

[cluedin]

A riveting conversation such as this? I would never dare, sir.

[ well. her being rude aside: ]

Until my services are no longer required, I am to stay and assist the guest who has called for me.

[survivaltricks]

[. . . SNORTS]

I see. . .

[glances at the bells, noting the blue one]

. . . is the blue bell for Master Blue?

[cluedin]

Logic would dictate as much, sir.

[ she is also looking at the blue one. it sure looks like it has seen Some Shit ]

Though I would advise you not to ring it unless you are absolutely certain someone will respond.

[survivaltricks]

[. . . nnnnoting that expression, and the delicacy of the bell. he decides to wait until Master Blue has returned from. wherever they went]

Understood.

-- hey, are you okay?

[cluedin]

[ ? ]

Of course, sir.

[ she genuinely sounds like she has no idea why the fuck he would ask this ]

[survivaltricks]

[HMMMMM]

You were staring at the blue bell the same way one might stare into the abyss.