GUEST SERVICES - MAMMON

[cluedin]

Comments

[mammoney]

What does this have to do with me? [yes] We're talkin' about you, Plum!

[cluedin]

You said that kind of loyalty is only for family. You've mentioned siblings before, if if I recall correctly. Do you not feel that way?

[ no its mammon time now ]

[mammoney]

Wha- of course I feel that way? They're my brothers! I'd do anythin' for them! I'm sure you'd do the same for your sisters!

[STOP DIVERTING THE QUESTION, PLUM]

So like I said, Master Blue's totally some kind of family, right? You aren't just stayin' here cause he's payin' you awesome cash or because its a job! That's bullshit!

[cluedin]

We are paid in room and board, sir.

[


that answered n o t h i n g ]

[mammoney]

That means jack shit and you know it, Plum. I could say the same about a pet, and I bet that you aren't some kind of pet.

[cluedin]

No, I am not. [ she agrees to that one easily? but she tilts her head ] Is it truly so hard to believe this kind of loyalty would have no root in family?

[mammoney]

Well, yeah.

[The buck stops at family for a demon like him.]

Unless you're like Lucifer and Lord Diavolo, I guess...

[cluedin]

Are they your siblings?

[ who the fuck are these people ]

[mammoney]

Uh, Lucifer is. Lord Diavolo ain't. Yet Lucifer is his right-side man. He follows his every order, promotes his rules...he's just suuuuuper devoted to him. It's weird, since he's been like that ever since we all Fell...

[[mammon shaking diavolo] ARE YOU F*CKIMG MY BROTHER]

[cluedin]

Is that unusual for demons?

[mammoney]

It's a bit unusual for an angel to do to a demon, even if it was after he Fell. But I guess the Celestial War might have had somethin' to do with that...

[cluedin]

[ she tilts her head a little ]

Are you not all demons?

[mammoney]

[A shake of the head.]

Well, we're demons. But me and my brothers, except for Satan...we used to be angels, once upon a time.

[cluedin]

... I can't say I expected that, sir.

[ plum voice: him?????????? ]

[mammoney]

Just goes to show ya that I'm one hell of a demon, yeah?

[Mammon....no.]

[cluedin]

No.

[ puns bad. ]

[mammoney]

Aw, come on, really?

[PARTY POOPER]

[cluedin]

Puns are the lowest form of humor.

[mammoney]

What's the highest form of humor, then?

[cluedin]

I suppose it depends on the...

[ ........ ]

timing.

[mammoney]

[BRO YOU GOT THE WHOLE DEMON LAUGHING]

[except not]

[he looks very unimpressed]

[cluedin]

[ :/ ]

And the audience.

[mammoney]

If you say it like that, even the best audience won't laugh at it! C'mon. I know you got a good joke in there. Tell me somethin' else.

[cluedin]

Oh, I couldn't possibly, sir. I have never told a joke once in my entire life.

[mammoney]

Being sarcastic is like, one hundred percent proof you can do a joke.