I can...kinda see ya. And hear ya. Don't know what happened to my vision over here. [A long sigh.] Anyways, I have a request. And a couple questions, I guess.
[She's going to do that obnoxious thing and wave a hand in front of his face? The bell jingles a little with her movements, but hm!]
I don't know what happened to your vision either. [That probably wasn't one of the questions, but it's more like a statement.] But I'll help with everything else that I can.
You're in the dining room, sir. Your food needs to be prepared in the kitchen. [You know that tone young teenage girls get when they want to say "duh!" really bad? That's also there. Luckily she's a nice chef and she'll walk slow enough that Mammon can follow as she holds open the door for the kitchen. At least when he walks he won't immediately crash into something there...] I didn't realize newt legs were such a delicacy for some of you.
Hm...I guess? There're way better snacks than potato chips though. Like Oreos! Those go really good with coffee.
[Mammon's in the kitchen which means he'll hear Peach puttering around, opening the fridge, opening cabinets, turning on the stove...] So the cockroaches are just snacks, too?
[He's luckily not in the way. He'll also hear the sound of the oven door opening and closing, some metal moving around, cooking spray...she's a busy bee. Cat. Whatever.]
Yeah, those! The cream is the best part. I don't think I've ever had cockroaches before though. Usually they're not on the menu. [She's not here to judge people's taste but also. Mammon are you okay.]
Eh, well, I wouldn't be surprised if this was like, a human kitchen. Like, for example, I've never seen bufo egg boba tea up top on Earth, and that's Levi's fave drink.
[Yes. Boba tea made with..........toad eggs. This is canon. Thanks, Obey Me.]
Humans have weird tastes. I just don't know, y'know?
It's my kitchen. [She seems almost indignant on that.] We've been serving guests from all kinds of places for many years, sir. As a chef it's my job to make sure we always have ingredients on hand.
[Which is why he'll probably also smell the scent of lightly roasted cockroaches in about ten seconds. Where did she get them? Don't worry about it. There's also the scent of cooking hamburger meat and somehow these two scents aren't disgusting together. The newt legs will come in a bit.]
[He actually doesn't even know what she looks like BUT he is very stupid so he honestly couldn't even guess.]
Ah, that smells real good... [He's just leaning his chin on his hands, smiling now.] And Levi? He's one of my younger brothers. He's an idiot otaku who stays in his room, like, all the time talkin' about how he worships anime characters and stuff.
Of course we're not. [They're 5000+ year old furries, Mammon, plz.] We just have a lot of human guests that are invited by the Master.
[He can't see it but she's actually :3 because she takes pride in her work. Even if it's cooking bugs.] I guess I should be happy Pumpkin didn't really get into that kind of stuff, but sometimes she takes her games too seriously. You have a few siblings then?
[It's mostly idle chitchat because she's always curious about the guests, and it's better than weird silence while she works. Peach in general is...chatty. Oops.]
I don't think we really count as demons either. We're just...you know. Ourselves. [Whatever that means. The burger's sizzling away and she's flipping it in the pan before the oven opens again. A pan is set on the countertop out of Mammon's reach so he doesn't accidentally burn himself, and she's...going to work on the newt legs.]
That's a really big family. [She almost sounds kind of awed about that. Hate that she'll never know Mammon is a big fat liar.] You're really lucky that they admire you so much! Plum and Pumpkin don't always listen to me even though I'm the oldest. But then again it's only the three of us anyway. No other sisters.
[There's also some sort of spice that he can probably smell that she's using to flavor the burger. At least the cockroaches smell just right. There's a sound of plastic hitting something metal before that scent is right in front of his face.] Try this. If they're not roasted enough to your liking I can bake them a bit longer.
[There's a spatula in front of him with a bug. This is horrible.]
[That answers NOTHING. Oh, well. He's distracted by the scent of food - if he had a tail right now, he'd probably be wagging it.]
Oh, you have two sisters? You're the oldest? That's cool, I guess. That makes no sense that they don't listen to you, though...like, with age comes wisdom or somethin' like that?
[What the heck, Peach!! THE DISRESPECT. He sniffs the air, reaching up slowly to reach towards the big blur in front of his face, fingers gingerly touching the edge of the spatula before working themselves up, and...ah. There we go.]
[He pops it into his mouth and chews. I regret everything.]
...Oh, man! This is amazing! [HE'S REALLY HAPPY.] No, no, that's perfect!
[Someday Mammon will maybe see that Peach has kitty ears and a tail and the big honkin' bell around her neck. No matter, she's not interested in clarifying why she's not human because she's also still cooking. The new legs are being prepared and shoved in the broiler to dry out, and the burger's almost done.]
I don't know about that. We've met some older guests that've behaved pretty poorly during past events, too. [And also people who ruin the goddamn house!! She's about to comment but like. I, too, regret these bugs but Peach is just clapping.]
I'm so glad! These should last you for a little while, and with the newt legs you'll have plenty of snacks. [The cockroaches will go in a box when they cool a little.] Do you want anything specific on your burger, sir? It's just about finished.
Older guests? What do you do with them? Torture them?
[He says this casually because. Well. Torturing random people for doing bad things is a-okay in a demon's book.]
Aw, man, this is the best! It's just like home! [................quietly a part of him is missing home already but NO TIME TO BE SAD. IT'S TIME FOR NEWTS AND COCKROACHES.] And I guess just some cheese. I ain't picky!
Of course not! We try to treat all of our guests equally, but some are punished on their own anyway. [Shrug!] If you start a fight, you shouldn't be surprised if someone punches back. That's all.
[The burger's getting some cheese, the newt legs are drying out and baking, and the cockroaches are just a teeny bit alive. Give her a moment to plate the burger before she sets it on the counter (with a bun, just in case) next to Mammon.]
Ohh, yeah. Like those fights from earlier! Did ya see them! Oh man, they got what they deserved, but they were real entertaining!
[Mammon, Peach was one of said fights. You idiot. You blind idiot.]
[He pats along the counter towards the blur he thinks is the burger and finds it, humming as he moves to take it in hand.]
I'm from hell! [He says it so cheerfully.] Technically, the Devildom. There's a whole lotta layers of hell, but the Devildom's where I live with my brothers.
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[He is............facing away from her. Look, it's fine.]
Wait a second, you're over there, aren't ya.
[Pointing in a COMPLETELY different direction from her.]
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...definitely over there, yeah. [She's. Walking over there. At least he can hear her jingling thanks to the bell on her neck.]
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[This really sucks.]
I can...kinda see ya. And hear ya. Don't know what happened to my vision over here. [A long sigh.] Anyways, I have a request. And a couple questions, I guess.
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I don't know what happened to your vision either. [That probably wasn't one of the questions, but it's more like a statement.] But I'll help with everything else that I can.
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Quit that! Sheesh. [A low sigh.] I can request food from you, right?
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That's right! I prepare all of the meals for the house, but I do take requests. What did you have in mind?
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[A beat.]
And a hamburger, I guess.
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Rare, medium, or well-done, sir?
[She's also walking away, but Mammon can probably follow the sound of her bell. Is she making him walk with her? Yes.]
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[He curses under his breath, before just. Walking in the direction of the bell. Thank goodness for the bell.]
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[Embarrassing...]
[Though he manages to follow her fairly well! Good for you, Mammon. He lets out a laugh at what she says, though.]
Delicacy? Ha! It's like...junk food? I guess its like...hm. Humans have potato chips and stuff, right?
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[Mammon's in the kitchen which means he'll hear Peach puttering around, opening the fridge, opening cabinets, turning on the stove...] So the cockroaches are just snacks, too?
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[It sounds...busy? Mammon finds a counter to lean on, hoping he's not getting in the way.]
Yeah, pretty much! They're super crunchy.
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Yeah, those! The cream is the best part. I don't think I've ever had cockroaches before though. Usually they're not on the menu. [She's not here to judge people's taste but also. Mammon are you okay.]
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[Yes. Boba tea made with..........toad eggs. This is canon. Thanks, Obey Me.]
Humans have weird tastes. I just don't know, y'know?
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[Which is why he'll probably also smell the scent of lightly roasted cockroaches in about ten seconds. Where did she get them? Don't worry about it. There's also the scent of cooking hamburger meat and somehow these two scents aren't disgusting together. The newt legs will come in a bit.]
Who's Levi?
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[He actually doesn't even know what she looks like BUT he is very stupid so he honestly couldn't even guess.]
Ah, that smells real good... [He's just leaning his chin on his hands, smiling now.] And Levi? He's one of my younger brothers. He's an idiot otaku who stays in his room, like, all the time talkin' about how he worships anime characters and stuff.
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[He can't see it but she's actually :3 because she takes pride in her work. Even if it's cooking bugs.] I guess I should be happy Pumpkin didn't really get into that kind of stuff, but sometimes she takes her games too seriously. You have a few siblings then?
[It's mostly idle chitchat because she's always curious about the guests, and it's better than weird silence while she works. Peach in general is...chatty. Oops.]
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[He sounds doubtful. He thinks he ought to know whether there's other demons just hanging out and about in this weird mansion.]
Oh, yeah, I do! Six brothers. I'm the second oldest of the bunch! They all look up to me...well, except Lucifer. He's the oldest.
[This is a lie. No one looks up to Mammon.]
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That's a really big family. [She almost sounds kind of awed about that. Hate that she'll never know Mammon is a big fat liar.] You're really lucky that they admire you so much! Plum and Pumpkin don't always listen to me even though I'm the oldest. But then again it's only the three of us anyway. No other sisters.
[There's also some sort of spice that he can probably smell that she's using to flavor the burger. At least the cockroaches smell just right. There's a sound of plastic hitting something metal before that scent is right in front of his face.] Try this. If they're not roasted enough to your liking I can bake them a bit longer.
[There's a spatula in front of him with a bug. This is horrible.]
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[That answers NOTHING. Oh, well. He's distracted by the scent of food - if he had a tail right now, he'd probably be wagging it.]
Oh, you have two sisters? You're the oldest? That's cool, I guess. That makes no sense that they don't listen to you, though...like, with age comes wisdom or somethin' like that?
[What the heck, Peach!! THE DISRESPECT. He sniffs the air, reaching up slowly to reach towards the big blur in front of his face, fingers gingerly touching the edge of the spatula before working themselves up, and...ah. There we go.]
[He pops it into his mouth and chews. I regret everything.]
...Oh, man! This is amazing! [HE'S REALLY HAPPY.] No, no, that's perfect!
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I don't know about that. We've met some older guests that've behaved pretty poorly during past events, too. [And also people who ruin the goddamn house!! She's about to comment but like. I, too, regret these bugs but Peach is just clapping.]
I'm so glad! These should last you for a little while, and with the newt legs you'll have plenty of snacks. [The cockroaches will go in a box when they cool a little.] Do you want anything specific on your burger, sir? It's just about finished.
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[He says this casually because. Well. Torturing random people for doing bad things is a-okay in a demon's book.]
Aw, man, this is the best! It's just like home! [................quietly a part of him is missing home already but NO TIME TO BE SAD. IT'S TIME FOR NEWTS AND COCKROACHES.] And I guess just some cheese. I ain't picky!
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[The burger's getting some cheese, the newt legs are drying out and baking, and the cockroaches are just a teeny bit alive. Give her a moment to plate the burger before she sets it on the counter (with a bun, just in case) next to Mammon.]
Where are you even from anyway?
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[Mammon, Peach was one of said fights. You idiot. You blind idiot.]
[He pats along the counter towards the blur he thinks is the burger and finds it, humming as he moves to take it in hand.]
I'm from hell! [He says it so cheerfully.] Technically, the Devildom. There's a whole lotta layers of hell, but the Devildom's where I live with my brothers.
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